


becoming him

by softminhyung



Series: move, we're gay [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Genderfluid Character, Multi, Nonbinary Character, also there is one (1) swear word, does this count as a drabble, genderfluid jaemin, nonbinary jeno, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 10:23:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15168638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softminhyung/pseuds/softminhyung
Summary: Jeno gets his hair cut.





	becoming him

**Author's Note:**

> hello ! this takes place some time before the three of us, we're a masterpiece, and it focuses mainly on jeno (featuring his boyfriends and chensung + donghyuck as well) it doesn't really matter which order you read them in, though they'll be organized in the series chronologically  
> this was,, kinda (entirely) inspired by me getting my hair cut today which! turned out okay phew  
> i tried a different (?) kind of writing style to try and accurately portray what i felt/jenos feeling so let me know what u think about it!  
> hope u enjoy !!

Jeno's nervous.

He barely got a wink of sleep the night before, restless and anxious in ways he can't quite articulate. Getting a few hours of shut-eye does little to ease his nerves, and his hands shake as he tries to go through his morning routine like he would any other day.

But today- today's special.

Today, Jeno's getting his hair cut.

He takes a steadying breath as he starts getting dressed, adjusting his binder one, two, three times before he pulls his shirt on. He's scared.

He doesn't call Renjun or Jaemin even though he'd love to talk to them - he doesn't want to be a bother and Jeno knows that he can't always rely on them to give him the support and encouragement he needs. It's still hard, though.

He doesn't think he can stomach anything so he skips breakfast, instead shouting through the house asking when they'd be leaving.

We'll go in a few minutes, his mom shouts back. She doesn't ask he needs more time.

Jeno sits at the kitchen table, waiting restlessly. Goes through and sorts and re-sorts and re-sorts the different pictures he would show the hairdresser for reference. His heart can't seem to calm down, and his fingers have trouble selecting the right images.

He goes through his notifications, smiling slightly as he reads the texts from his groupchat with Renjun and Jaemin - the two are probably still asleep considering how they stayed up so late last night debating the merits of intergalactic space travel.

He's only just caught up with all the unread messages when his mom slides on her shoes, calling him over. It's time to leave.

His mom is out the door already, and he puts on his sneakers, looking at himself in the mirror before he leaves. He hopes it goes okay.

The car ride is short and quiet. Jeno's glad his mom turned the A/C up so high because otherwise he'd be a puddle of sweat from his nerves and the heat.

The wait isn't long, and time seems to escape him from the moment he steps into the salon.

He's brought to a chair and manages to show a picture of what he wants without stuttering or messing up. He allows himself a small mental pat on the back before the panic sets in again.

He tries to regulate his breathing, and is incredibly grateful that the person cutting his hair is quiet - either they sensed he wasn't in the right mindset to hold a proper conversation or they themselves didn't feel like talking. He doesn't mind either way.

He tries to watch the process, but he had to take his glasses off and he can't see clearly what's going on, so he settles for staring ahead blankly and listening to the conversations going on around other parts of the room.

He gets scared at some parts - the scissors sometimes seem like they've cut far too much, and the razor sometimes sounds a little too close. In the end, he trusts in the idea that the worker knows what they're doing, and forces his body to relax.

After what feels like both an eternity and a single moment passes, Jeno's given the go-ahead to stand up and go to the register. He's quiet as he stands behind his mom, who exchanges pleasantries with the person working behind the counter as she pays.

Jeno looks at his reflection in the glass door as they leave, trying to get a good look at his haircut now that he has his glasses back on. He thinks he likes it.

He slides into the passenger's seat, his mom grinning at him and saying something Jeno doesn't completely pay attention to. He looks at his hair this way and that, turning his head side to side to examine it from as many angles as he can. He likes it.

The drive back home is less quiet, him and his mom talking about small, unimportant topics before a small silence permeates the air.

His mom turns to face him when the car slows down to a stop at a red light. Her voice is softer, more cautious as she tells him that his family and friends will always see him for him, but other people may not be as kind. The light turns green and she turns her eyes back to the road. If anyone bothers you, she begins. Let me know. She adds on about how there are so many types of bullying and harassment out there, and she doesn't want him to be a victim of any of them.

Jeno nods and agrees and tries to force the tightness in his throat away.

He checks his phone in the remaining minutes of the car ride, having turned off notifications while he got his hair cut.

His groupchat with his friends has a whopping 217 notifications, and he taps onto it with a little curiosity and a lot of fear. He quickly realizes the reason for the overwhelming influx of messages - they remembered he was getting his hair cut and thought it best to send as many encouraging and sweet messages (Jaemin), thoughtful memes and adorable animal pictures (Chenle), long paragraphs saying how proud they were (Renjun), and what Jeno can only describe as "a shitton of heart emojis" (Donghyuck). He can't keep the happiness off his face, and he sends his own message to the chat, thanking them for their messages.

Five seconds is all it takes before his phone gets an influx of messages, Jaemin begging for a picture and the others sending words and pictures of agreement.

It boosts his confidence, a little, to have them waiting so eagerly and excitedly.

He goes to the nearest window and take a picture with the sun's rays shining down on him, eyes bright and smile wide. He adds a little rainbow sticker before sending it to the groupchat, and a giggle escapes when he immediately gets an incoming facetime request from Jaemin.

He accepts the call quickly, not wanting to make his partner wait any more than they have to, and is greeted with a blinding smile.

"Jeno! You look absolutely gorgeous! Stunning!" Jaemin crows, and they give Jeno what has to be one of the softest looks in existence. "Hold on, let me add the others." A few taps later, and Renjun's face pops up onto his phone screen as well.

"You look _so_ handsome, love." Renjun says with a smitten expression, and Jeno laughs even as he blushes down to his neck.

Jeno covers his burning cheeks with a hand. "Thanks, you two. Now hurry up and add Chenle and Donghyuck before we get too mushy."

"Alright, alright. But we're having a video call just for the three of us later, okay?" Jaemin waits until both Jeno and Renjun agree before humming and tapping away, Donghyuck and Chenle's faces sliding onto everyone's screen after a few moments.

Jeno quickly lowers his volume, and is glad he does when what would have been a deafening "JENO!" bursts from his speakers. Judging by the expressions of relief on his partners' faces, they had done the same.

"Hello, everyone!" Jeno greets.

What follows is a cacophony of screaming and dozens of incredibly sweet (and a bit outrageous) compliments. It's a bit extreme but not at all unwanted, so Jeno sits down onto his couch and smiles, doing everything he can to remember this moment, adored and encouraged by his loved ones and feeling more at home in his own skin than ever before.

It's an unfamiliar feeling, one he's not at all accustomed to, but he glances at his own camera's view, hair short and cropped and finally enough, and.

He's finally Him.

**Author's Note:**

> whoooo boy okay  
> the working title was 'metamorphosis' - since i wanted this to basically had the whole 'caterpillar becoming butterfly' vibe of growth/development that jeno would have/get through getting his hair cut, but i was getting impatient and ended up not going into the planned spiel about jeno being more himself now and feeling like he was Him so,, i got reminded of some of the comments/videos by nyc deaf + queer artist chella man (definitely recommend looking him up if ure looking to find more queer trans artists) and ended up w 'becoming him' instead  
> if u haven't/didn't read the series notes or the end notes to the three of us, we're a masterpiece: jeno's nonbinary and uses he/him, jaemins genderfluid, and the two of them + renjun are dating. chensung are trans and are kind of tip toeing around each other at this point (and hyuck has yet to meet markhei !)  
> thank u for reading and i hope u liked it! feel free to leave any comments, kudos, etc. u can also scream to me [@ twitter](https://twitter.com/darlingminhyung) (thank u to those who did for the last fic,,,, u own my Whole Heart)


End file.
